With the holidays right around the corner, the shops are filled with Christmas music, the grocery stores are crowded with people buying groceries to feed their families on thanksgiving, and the internet is filled with pictures of cute couples spending the holidays together. Love and cheer are in the air… but you’re not feeling it.

Maybe you’ve been dreading this time because it’ll be another family dinner where you’re interrogated about why you’re still single…maybe your family is too dysfunctional to be around for the holidays…maybe the holidays are a reminder of a past trauma. Whatever the reason may be, I want to acknowledge those who just can’t seem to find a reason to be thankful this holiday season.

Sure it’s easier said than done to be thankful for good health and being alive this holiday season. Giving thanks during hard times is not a natural response and requires some effort on your part. I want you to explore alternatives to bring some joy to your life this season whether or not it involves the presence of others. What are some things you enjoy doing or have enjoyed doing but let fall off for sometime? Pick that activity back up. Not sure how to explain your “singleness” to your family during this holiday season? Well you don’t have to. Downplay your relationship status and take this time to acknowledge your own personal accomplishments to your family during this year.

Dreading visiting your dysfunctional family this season? Identify a close friend that would be happy to have you spend time with his/her family. Who knows, maybe they are dreading family time together and you all can celebrate a Friendsgiving instead. Worried about finances to buy gifts? Get crafty. Identify the meaningful things that are important to those you care about and check out Pinterest for ways to translate these ideas into small gifts that will be priceless and worth more than money can buy.

Lastly, if you’re spiritual, spend time in prayer. When you spend consistent time in prayer giving thanks, it no longer allows for those bitter thoughts to creep through. Here are a couple of bible verses:

1 Thessalonians 5:18: Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Sure you’re wondering, “God wants me to be thankful for this broken heart?” Consider being thankful for these things in this sense “Lord thank you for healing my heart in the past, the same way I know you will heal me today.”

Psalm 28:7: The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.

Whatever you decide to do, know that there is Joy surrounding you than you realize, spend time being purposeful to seek these things.

Be Well.